Can Grief Be Overcome?
In a word, yes. But everyone is different in their grieving process, the steps they go through and the amount of time it takes to get back to a new normal. The help and support you have around you is also critical in the grieving process. To that end, bereavement services in Alameda County and elsewhere can help immensely. This can take the form of grief counseling, support groups, memorial services, and one-on-one counseling. It’s possible to love, lose and survive.
But at the same time, you likely may never “get over” the loss, especially if you lost a child, spouse or beloved parent. As time passes, though, the intensity of the feelings you experience will lessen: you’ll find ways to distract or soothe yourself or you may bury grief-related feelings by developing new memories. But don’t expect yourself to magically “get over it” because it’s not realistic. You can’t erase emotional memory, says Psychology Today.
You can find ways to manage that grief so that you are able to move on with your life.
Tips to Managing Your Grief
1. Be Patient With Yourself
Give yourself some time to process and accept what has happened. Don’t worry about a “schedule” of grief that others say you have to follow. There’s no rule book that dictates which emotions you should be feeling, or in which order. This is a time to stand up for you and your life, recognize that you are still alive, and make the conscious choice to move on. You don’t have to have it all figured out just yet. But simply focus on remaining in the game and moving forward. Yes, it’s completely normal to cry and feel depressed, says the Huffington Post, but it’s critical that you put one foot in front of the other and carry on with your life. If you hole up in your room and try to manage it all yourself, the lack of support from friends and family will just magnify whatever grief you are feeling. Remember: you have the strength inside you to get through this!
2. Adjust Your Expectations
Now, accept that the emotions you’re feeling are a natural progression of the grieving process. Experiencing divorce, job loss, death or other loss is not a life sentence of grief. You will come out of it, you will emerge. But refrain from placing unrealistic expectations on yourself and, most importantly, don’t let others do it to you either. Keep in mind that grief is not a linear process. You will start to move forward in your own time; just work hard to move forward before you lose your way completely.
3. Accept What You Can’t Change
A feeling of being out of control after loss is very common because, well, you can’t control when you lose someone. But you are not a victim; you don’t have to keep punishing yourself in an endless cycle of self-blame. There will come a point in the process where you have to choose to stand up for how you will react to such a hard hit. It’s important to actively, consciously decide to accept what you can change and what you can’t. This means you have to accept the reality of loss on a mental, emotional, and spiritual level.
4. Find Strength In Others
While it sometimes may feel like you are all alone in your grief, taking comfort and advice from someone who has gone through a similar loss is very beneficial. Sure, you’ll have a lot of compassionate people around you in the days and weeks after your loss. They all mean well, but they haven’t been down the road you’re on. Empathic people are those who have been right where you are and give you real, time tested advice on how to push through.
5. Don’t Get Stuck
It’s super easy to get stuck in the negative experience of grief. It’s hard to pull yourself out of that hole. You may find it’s actually comfortable in there. It insulates you from future loss, and you don’t have to face the light. But if you don’t actively try to get out of that hole, you’ll get stuck in there. How you claw your way out is up to you. It’s different for everyone. Some take up a new hobby, others take on a cause, others seek counseling or support groups. Still others simply take the first step and speak to their doctor about treatment options such as antidepressants. Grief sometimes causes one to become biochemically-unbalanced; medication could be the short-term jump-start you need to finally start moving forward.
In a nutshell, grief is an ever-evolving entity. Its grip is different for everybody. YOU are the only one who can determine how the rest of your story plays out.
Contact Pathways Home Health and Hospice
To learn more about our bereavement services, please contact us at 888-978-1306. There’s no need to suffer in silence. Take comfort in our bereavement services, which include anything from support groups and counseling to memorial celebrations and workshops. Whatever you choose, the main goal is to get involved, manage your grief, and surround yourself with strong support resources.